The feelings that come along with knowing your spouse will be able to come and be with you finally.......

        He finally got his visa ....your so excited and happy because after so long you know he will be with you soon. You rush to tell every one then what? 

        After the first few days reality will set in.You start to look at your life and analyze everything. You look at did you gain weight since the last time you were together? How have you aged? Is your health up to par? And your thoughts turn to how you can improve "yourself". So you start making all of the "Dr.s" appointments to the Dr, dentist, dermatologist, ect. You start crash dieting and exercising as if 2-3 weeks will really make a difference. You might even join a gym.

        Then you start to look at your about to become "our" home. You begin to notice the cobweb in the corner how dusty everything now seems. You start a cleaning binge, wanting to clean anything and everything. Washing clothes that are already clean but you worry it has been in the drawer or container for so long that it might not smell fresh. So then its clean clean clean. It way worse than cleaning "nesting" for a new baby. Nothing will seem to ever be clean enough. I have tried to reorganize and reorganize many rooms in my apartment. Its been non-stop chaos as I clean and re-clean.   

         Next comes your car. You go to great lengths to tune it up and make repairs to it. You start to detail clean it. Because in your mind you have all of these trips planned in your head.

         Then you start your buying. Buying things for him that you think he might "need". From clothes, shoes, to toiletries. And trying to find deals on activities on things you two can do. You start looking into the travel sites to find things you two can do within an hr or so from home. You start making list upon list of everything and anything you think they have never done. Its like the last two year (or however long you have been apart) breaks down to preparing the last few weeks before they arrive.

         I still have a few weeks but I already know right before he arrives exactly what I am going to. And I myself am driving myself crazy. I'm running around here like a chicken with my head cut off.  Right before he arrives I am going to get a manicure, pedicure, a facial, and a massage. Just because one I want to look good for him and two to pamper myself because I know I am stressing myself out.

        I'm excited so much but I am extremely nervous. I can't sleep much. Too much to do, not enough time and rushing to do it all. But hey you can relax once he is here. Until then I'm just making these changes one at a time. Getting my health together is top priority, then clean house , activities and then the car. But I'm (we) are also in the process of moving about a month he gets here. But after a month and we are finish moving everything will be bliss. Just go to take it one day at a time.

 

How people react to being in a inter-racial relationship........yea lets go there

    Reactions there are good ones and bad ones. Is everyone going to be all happy and joyful for you? The answer is No! And the simple point is there are still a lot of raciest people in the world.
    How to tackle this topic....hmmmm.  Ok let's start with my story ..in the beginning.When we first announced "in a relationship with" on fb the raciest people came out of the woodwork so to say.  Left and right we faced a lot of negativity from what seemed like everyone. They asked questions like "what do your parents think?" and "you know his people won't accept you right?". It was so stupid. I got hate messages everyday at least 5-10. I deleted so many people at that time. I don't need negative raciest people in my life. And some of these people even kept sending me messages after I deleted them. So I would have to go and block them.I have over 30 people blocked.
      And I wasn't the only one facing this Pawan also has faced a lot of it. They talk trash about westerners to him even til today.Talking to him that westerners are free to sex with whoever they want. That westerners have husbands as well as boyfriends. Not to mentions they have also said that we are lazy and that he would have to help with the housework if not do it all completely. It has cause problems with us. Because they do get inside his head and he gets super jealous. Later he says well such and such were saying this and that and he get caught up in it from time to time. So it comes to you on both sides.
      Peoples reactions now a days very. I've rid myself of the raciest people except the ones I come across at work. The Indian people at work accept it so so. But a lot of the Nepali people have basically shunned me like I did something wrong. They try to make me fool. Purposely speaking hindi  around me saying things like "look It the white girl trying to be Indian". There is one guy who will only speak hindi with me and would get mad when I wouldn't respond. Yes I knew what he said but choose not to answer.Though I cant speak or write Hindi I do understand 85-95% maybe more. One of my Co-worker lets call her "M" she all the time used to act like I knew nothing of Pawan's culture. The sad thing is that on a lot of things I know more than he does because I research everything I can. Little does she know I have about 50 Bollywood movies. I had an incident with another co-worker who was Arabic I don't know what country. I was allergic to something she had on , perfume, body wash , hair oil, or it could have been deodorant  either way I don't know what it was. I was forced to work around her and was having severe breathing problems I tried to breathe through my shirt it didn't really help. So I showed another supervisor I was starting to loose my color and my hands were shaking so bad. My lips had even began to swollen. So they moved me. About 2 weeks later this girl confronted me though I was having trouble breathing I was trying to explain it to her. She kept accusing me that I was saying she stunk which was not the case. After that she left me alone for a month coz I worked so far away from her. Then they moved me to the line next to her. Everyday she would come over there just to harass me. I could tell she was there without looking at her coz my chest would tighten up. So  I would just get up and go to another area to avoid confrontation. Anyways the last time she came to bother me she was yelling at me  calling me a raciest and that my husband is Indian and that I don't tell him he stinks. They always throw my husband in the mix. My husband has nothing to do with it but she had to bring it up and for what I was still allergic to whatever she had on.
     In public the reactions very. When I come across Indian shop keeps they want to know our entire love story. But the nepali shop keeps want to ask "What's that?", or such as "did you hit your head" talking about either the maugel sutra or the sindoor. I understand the American people asking but when it is your own culture its just being an ass. Just saying. So it is something that is faced almost every day.

How I Prepared myself for the culture shock of India for the first time.

        I've heard so many stories of how ppl were "Cultured Shocked" when they went to a foreign country for the first time.The only thing that "got" me was seeing the animals roam free in the streets.

       My friend introduced me to "Bollywood" movies about 6 months before my trip and I got hooked lol. So I borrowed, watched on youtube.com and bought movies. I love them as I have always loved love stories and musicals lol. The movies helped me in by seeing the scenery and it also showed me some of the customs I needed to learn. Pawan was say the least slack in teaching me customs and culture that I so desperately needed to learn. He would only tell me the meaning behind things after I had learned them and asked him about them. Through the movies I learned customs like touching of the feet of elders, how to properly say and do the Namaste sign lol. And when meeting a Muslim you cup your hand vertically adau (sorry if that is missed spelled, spelling in foreign languages is not my strong points lol) I learned a lot from the movie "Kishna".

      On www.youtube.com I watched movies but more importantly I watched whatever news story that I could find that was related to India. Now a lot of it wasn't in English but I didn't care you still get to see the images and get used to hearing Hindi or whatever or dialects they are using. You will see disturbing videos and pics as it is news stories.

     I also had bought a few albums of Bollywood music and downloaded a lot more (be careful of downloading free music I had gotten several viruses like that).

     When I landed I wasn't "shocked" til I got to Pawan's village and saw goat,pigs and cows roaming the streets. I felt I actually did a good job knowing what to expect. Anyways that's my tips lol. Catch you next blog!

Introduction to our love story

Hi! My name is Charlene.  Welcome to my new blog. First let me introduce myself. I am currently 32 yrs old and a factory worker living in Texas,US. I am a Christian. We had a daughter but she has passed but we will get to that in a later blog. I do have an active youtube channel which I will link in my blogs as the topics I have done vids on comes up.

Our love story all started with fb lol of all places. I had liked a movie page and they used to have the last 20 ppl pics up. Pawan saw my pic and thought I was cute and sent me a friend request. He began chat with me just shortly after I accepted his request.  We chatted for 2 hrs that night.  And again the next day as well.  But the next day I had to work so I messaged him that I couldn't be online for 3 days, at that time I worked 3 13 hrs days a week (Fri-Sun). He kept apologizing like he did something wrong. I had to explain in messages from my phone that it wasn't like that.After I had finished my work week we went back to chatting more and more each day.After about a week and a half we talked on the phone only for a few min as he had called me. OMG his accent was so thick. I had a hard time understanding him. And like a lot of Americans I kept saying "huh?!" He later confessed that he thought I was an Indian woman playing a joke on him Be it that huh means yes in Hindi. We began quick one-three min conversations on the phone everyday. In May of 2010 I moved into my own apt after having troubles with my old room mate. At that point I really had nothing except my clothes and my cell phone. At that point we mainly communicated through AIM and yahoo messenger. And phone calls through winner phone cards which for $5 I would get about 10hrs. But at one point I was going overboard spending $25 a week . But in August I had gotten my first laptop and shortly after got internet and a webcam. And so after 8 months we finally got to see each other via webcam. Our love grew deeper and deeper each day. After a year and two months of letters, chatting, phone calls, and webcam video calls I took a chance on love and flew to India. I spent one blissful month there. While there we got engaged, had a religious commitment ceremony (I'll explain that one later) and got pregnant all in that one months time.We tried to get him here on a fiance visa. I had our daughter, Devi Vella Naugain on Feb 02,2012. She was born with a bad heart. After 5 surgeries she passed. The drs tried to talking to USCIS to rush Pawan's visa along.Sadly this did not work. We got word of the denial of his visa two weeks after she had passed. So this time we hired a lawyer. This time it has been a year and 5 months. He has had his Interview but was missing a paper and now has submitted that too. We have been told it will take sometime between 2-8 weeks. Its been a lil over 2 weeks now.So welcome to our love story.