Reactions there are good ones and bad ones. Is everyone going to be all happy and joyful for you? The answer is No! And the simple point is there are still a lot of raciest people in the world.
How to tackle this topic....hmmmm. Ok let's start with my story ..in the beginning.When we first announced "in a relationship with" on fb the raciest people came out of the woodwork so to say. Left and right we faced a lot of negativity from what seemed like everyone. They asked questions like "what do your parents think?" and "you know his people won't accept you right?". It was so stupid. I got hate messages everyday at least 5-10. I deleted so many people at that time. I don't need negative raciest people in my life. And some of these people even kept sending me messages after I deleted them. So I would have to go and block them.I have over 30 people blocked.
And I wasn't the only one facing this Pawan also has faced a lot of it. They talk trash about westerners to him even til today.Talking to him that westerners are free to sex with whoever they want. That westerners have husbands as well as boyfriends. Not to mentions they have also said that we are lazy and that he would have to help with the housework if not do it all completely. It has cause problems with us. Because they do get inside his head and he gets super jealous. Later he says well such and such were saying this and that and he get caught up in it from time to time. So it comes to you on both sides.
Peoples reactions now a days very. I've rid myself of the raciest people except the ones I come across at work. The Indian people at work accept it so so. But a lot of the Nepali people have basically shunned me like I did something wrong. They try to make me fool. Purposely speaking hindi around me saying things like "look It the white girl trying to be Indian". There is one guy who will only speak hindi with me and would get mad when I wouldn't respond. Yes I knew what he said but choose not to answer.Though I cant speak or write Hindi I do understand 85-95% maybe more. One of my Co-worker lets call her "M" she all the time used to act like I knew nothing of Pawan's culture. The sad thing is that on a lot of things I know more than he does because I research everything I can. Little does she know I have about 50 Bollywood movies. I had an incident with another co-worker who was Arabic I don't know what country. I was allergic to something she had on , perfume, body wash , hair oil, or it could have been deodorant either way I don't know what it was. I was forced to work around her and was having severe breathing problems I tried to breathe through my shirt it didn't really help. So I showed another supervisor I was starting to loose my color and my hands were shaking so bad. My lips had even began to swollen. So they moved me. About 2 weeks later this girl confronted me though I was having trouble breathing I was trying to explain it to her. She kept accusing me that I was saying she stunk which was not the case. After that she left me alone for a month coz I worked so far away from her. Then they moved me to the line next to her. Everyday she would come over there just to harass me. I could tell she was there without looking at her coz my chest would tighten up. So I would just get up and go to another area to avoid confrontation. Anyways the last time she came to bother me she was yelling at me calling me a raciest and that my husband is Indian and that I don't tell him he stinks. They always throw my husband in the mix. My husband has nothing to do with it but she had to bring it up and for what I was still allergic to whatever she had on.
In public the reactions very. When I come across Indian shop keeps they want to know our entire love story. But the nepali shop keeps want to ask "What's that?", or such as "did you hit your head" talking about either the maugel sutra or the sindoor. I understand the American people asking but when it is your own culture its just being an ass. Just saying. So it is something that is faced almost every day.
How to tackle this topic....hmmmm. Ok let's start with my story ..in the beginning.When we first announced "in a relationship with" on fb the raciest people came out of the woodwork so to say. Left and right we faced a lot of negativity from what seemed like everyone. They asked questions like "what do your parents think?" and "you know his people won't accept you right?". It was so stupid. I got hate messages everyday at least 5-10. I deleted so many people at that time. I don't need negative raciest people in my life. And some of these people even kept sending me messages after I deleted them. So I would have to go and block them.I have over 30 people blocked.
And I wasn't the only one facing this Pawan also has faced a lot of it. They talk trash about westerners to him even til today.Talking to him that westerners are free to sex with whoever they want. That westerners have husbands as well as boyfriends. Not to mentions they have also said that we are lazy and that he would have to help with the housework if not do it all completely. It has cause problems with us. Because they do get inside his head and he gets super jealous. Later he says well such and such were saying this and that and he get caught up in it from time to time. So it comes to you on both sides.
Peoples reactions now a days very. I've rid myself of the raciest people except the ones I come across at work. The Indian people at work accept it so so. But a lot of the Nepali people have basically shunned me like I did something wrong. They try to make me fool. Purposely speaking hindi around me saying things like "look It the white girl trying to be Indian". There is one guy who will only speak hindi with me and would get mad when I wouldn't respond. Yes I knew what he said but choose not to answer.Though I cant speak or write Hindi I do understand 85-95% maybe more. One of my Co-worker lets call her "M" she all the time used to act like I knew nothing of Pawan's culture. The sad thing is that on a lot of things I know more than he does because I research everything I can. Little does she know I have about 50 Bollywood movies. I had an incident with another co-worker who was Arabic I don't know what country. I was allergic to something she had on , perfume, body wash , hair oil, or it could have been deodorant either way I don't know what it was. I was forced to work around her and was having severe breathing problems I tried to breathe through my shirt it didn't really help. So I showed another supervisor I was starting to loose my color and my hands were shaking so bad. My lips had even began to swollen. So they moved me. About 2 weeks later this girl confronted me though I was having trouble breathing I was trying to explain it to her. She kept accusing me that I was saying she stunk which was not the case. After that she left me alone for a month coz I worked so far away from her. Then they moved me to the line next to her. Everyday she would come over there just to harass me. I could tell she was there without looking at her coz my chest would tighten up. So I would just get up and go to another area to avoid confrontation. Anyways the last time she came to bother me she was yelling at me calling me a raciest and that my husband is Indian and that I don't tell him he stinks. They always throw my husband in the mix. My husband has nothing to do with it but she had to bring it up and for what I was still allergic to whatever she had on.
In public the reactions very. When I come across Indian shop keeps they want to know our entire love story. But the nepali shop keeps want to ask "What's that?", or such as "did you hit your head" talking about either the maugel sutra or the sindoor. I understand the American people asking but when it is your own culture its just being an ass. Just saying. So it is something that is faced almost every day.
Mangal Sutra and Sindoor is not done by everybody in the subcontinent, in my husband's family the mangal sutra is not done at all, despite being a hindu family, Sindoor is orange and worn only one dot at the parting line rather than a big long line.
ReplyDeleteI have no idea about Nepal, but they by far don't have the same traditions as Indians, so I can totally see them asking.
And you are right you can't please everybody, it's in these type of situation that you get to know who your real friends are and which aren't. I didn't get the racist comments much when I started dating my husband, but I got people making massive fun of me for having met him online and being in a LDR...apparently he was a fake, not worth my time and online relatioships never work...really? I have been with him for 12 years since our first meeting in ICQ, how is that not working?
The Nepali people at work also do the sindoor. And the ones Im talking about do the stupidest look on their face as if to mock me. These are the ones I'm talking about
DeleteYeah, after 2.5 years of marriage and 5 years in our relationship and me moving to India, we STILL get this 'westerner' crap. I just dealt with some of it recently based on an NRI Punjabi girl not being a fit wife because she was raised her so obviously a white girl must be worse. I wish I could slap a few people back in our old neighborhood lol. They know me, they should know better but it seems like they haven't got the point yet. While I'll admit I do still blow a fuse over this from time to time, I do shrug it off a lot. I don't have to live with their ignorance daily so that helps.
ReplyDeleteYeah people need to open their eyes, as we know relations like ours are growing. Just gets tiring with all of these "Backwoods" people.
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